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goodbyes

6 May 2011 1,599 views No Comment

This morning I took my Mum to the airport. She had been here in Sydney visting me for just over two weeks. We’ve had a great time – been away together to Melbourne and the Great Ocean Road, hung out in Manly & chez moi, spent time with my friends, and kept Sydney’s hospitality industry well and truly afloat :)

It’s the third time that Mum has been to visit, so it’s the third time that we’ve been in Sydney departures saying ‘goodbye’. I find the whole experience so very unique, it has such a unique impact on my life, that I wanted to share some of that and maybe see if anyone else feels the same.

Perhaps it’s just terribly obvious but it’s the very physical experience that I find strange. One minute you’re together: laughing, having coffee, talking about everything, hugging, irritating each other, drinking in the sight, sound & scent of each other whether you realise it or not. And then you’re alone, and that whole person and all the energy they created around you is gone.

It’s a huge change, it brings so many emotions to the surface and I struggle with the balance, and the ying/yang of those different emotions. There’s happiness because we’ve had such good times, got such good memories but sadness because we won’t be together anymore and the ‘goodbye’ has such power. There’s gratitude that we could have the time together but regret for the things we haven’t done and that constant niggle about whether we really made the most of it.
There are the very mixed feelings: the relief (if I’m honest) about life getting back to normal and then the guilt for feeling that; the freedom (again if I’m honest) of not being together 24/7 but the loneliness of not being together 24/7.

Do you feel the same? Are you experiences different? There’s no right or wrong with these things and I’d be interested in what you think and feel about this.

Namaste xLuce

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